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Don’t Hate, Celebrate, Emulate And Congratulate – Keys To Success

The Nile Harris

Here is an interesting characteristic of the human brain, it dwells on negativity. Have you ever received a fantastic compliment along with a small note of feedback and you focused on the feedback? Well, that’s the brain. Misery loves company. The brain seeks out comfort by gravitating toward other negative thinkers. This is why when we see someone achieve a goal we want to achieve our initial gut reaction may be to hate on them. Here’s the twist – every time you hate on someone for having what you want, you program your brain to not achieve that goal. Let me illustrate what I mean.

Let’s say you want a promotion at work. You see someone else is promoted and you immediately go dark. Why should they be promoted and not you? It doesn’t even matter if that person is in a whole other function or department. Their promotion doesn’t effect you getting a promotion at all, but you still hate on them a bit. That’s the brain’s natural default. Here’s the twist, every time you hate on someone for achieving the same thing you want to achieve you program your brain against it. Your brain doesn’t think these things through your mind does. While you may thinking you want a promotion, by hating on someone else you sent a message to your subconscious brain that you don’t like promotions. You’ve also sent energy out into the Universe that you don’t want a promotion. Remember, this is how the law of attraction works. This is why it is so critical to fill your mind with positive thoughts. The next time someone achieves something, don’t hate, you should celebrate, emulate and congratulate. There is a biological reason we should do these four things.


You’re walking down the street and you see two people holding hands and cooing at each other. Deep down inside you really want this for yourself but your initial reaction is to throw up in your mouth a little bit. This is a time to celebrate. I’m not suggesting you run up to the couple and throw confetti all over them. You should mentally celebrate them. In your head say “that’s wonderful and awesome, good for them!”. When you get an email that a friend or co-worker has been promoted do a little fist pump or celebratory dance. The thing is, you can’t secretly want something for yourself that you hate for others. This is one I work on. There is science to support why it’s important to celebrate the thing you want even when others get it.

The brain has a reward center. When you do something you enjoy you release happy hormones. The act of celebrating, even for someone else, releases dopamine into the system. The brain records that release as a good thing. When you do something you don’t like the brain releases an unhappy hormone. That gets recorded as don’t do that. The brain is a bit of a drug addict. It wants the feel-good hormone. When you celebrate you tell the brain whatever you were just doing or thinking about is good. The brain says “let’s do that again”. When you celebrate someone else getting a promotion, the happy hormone is released and the brain says promotions are good. The opposite is true. Don’t feel good about the promotion the brain says, let’s not do that. The brain will make micro decisions, unbeknownst to you, to move you toward what it perceives to be the goal. There are thousands of micro decisions our subconscious makes for us. You want your subconscious aligned to your conscious. A micro decision could be something like going the extra mile on a project or an idea that suddenly pops into your mind. Your brain will make micro decisions to help release the happy hormone. So, celebrate to program your brain to align to what you want.


I don’t believe in fake until you make it. I believe in imitation or, preferably, emulation. Imitation is about copying someone blindly while emulation is about doing something similar but modifying to fit your style or situation. Faking it to me means you don’t really believe you can do it or it’s not authentic. If you don’t believe something to be true, how can you make it there? When I see someone is successful at something I may just outright copy them until I get it. A great example is when I was pushing myself to become better at networking. I am an introvert. I realized in business school my more outgoing classmates were able to insert themselves in to conversations and practically monopolize recruiters’ time. I had a good friend who was a master networker. In the beginning I just copied him. I said what he said, or at least what I imagined he would say. I even stood how he stood. As I began to meet people and become more comfortable I switched from imitation to emulation. I adjusted his tactics to my style, things that were more authentic to me.

I prefer emulation because it combines the best of both worlds. You are observing someone else’s gifts and combining them with your own to become even better. Emulation, if done successfully, is reinforced by the release of serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is a biochemical that is released when we feel people respect us or we have a sense of accomplishment or pride. Dopamine makes us feel good when we’ve accomplished a specific task or goal. Eventually, the constant presence of these feel-good chemicals coursing through our veins will drive us to repeat the behavior and improve upon it as we are rewarded for it. As I got better at networking, I wanted to do it more. As I did it more I refined my method and improved, thus releasing even more serotonin and dopamine as a reward for the behavior.


The best way to program your brain to deliver your success is to congratulate. Speaking the words out loud to the person allows your brain to further embed the message. Additionally, you set your own energy to vibrate at that frequency. You know what else? It’s just a nice thing to do. Who we are today is the sum of the words we spoke yesterday. Not literally yesterday, but in our past. The words we speak have much more of an impact than we realize sometimes. That’s why mantras are effective and recommended. It’s a bit of a vicious cycle. The thoughts that we convert into words become thought again. The more you think and say something the more you think it and say it. Ghandi is most noted for putting this concept into words but at its core it’s something that has been known for centuries:

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.

In other words haters gonna hate and winners gonna win. [tweetthis]haters gonna hate and winners gonna win[/tweetthis]By actually giving congratulations to the person whether you speak the words, post them on Facebook or email them, you are programming your brain to deliver the results you want. Yes, even if you feel the person doesn’t deserve whatever they got. Should you congratulate someone who got an “A” in a class and you know for a fact they cheated? Probably not. Because the unintentional message you are giving your brain is that you value short cuts or a lack of integrity. Your brain may subconsciously find ways to get you what you want that don’t necessarily align with your values. Lastly, when you congratulate someone the biochemical oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is the chemical that binds. It goes by several nicknames such as the hug hormone, the cuddle chemical, or the bliss hormone. This is that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you connect with another human being. When you congratulate someone, even if you’re a little envious, you will still push out a little oxytocin. You guessed it, the brain perceives that as a reward and will want to do it again.

Don’t Hate

Our brains are drug addicts. Luckily we were designed to be our own suppliers. Even though the human brain naturally dwells on negativity it craves reward. The tricky part is dislike, stress and anxiety also creates a reward. We have to be conscious about what we want our brains to focus on. The same reason celebrating, emulating and congratulating work is the same reason eating a pint of ice cream after a bad break up works. The same biochemicals are released. Negative words, emotional eating, etc. can become the reward. Remember, the next time you hear of someone getting a promotion you wanted or similar to the one you wanted don’t hate, celebrate, emulate and congratulate.


1 Law of Attraction – Science Fact or Fiction

??????????????????What if I told you you could have more money, more love, more wealth in your life if you simply attract it? Most people have heard of the law of attraction. The book The Secret may have popularized it and brought it into more into the mainstream, but this concept has been around for a very long time. You can even find evidence of it in the Holy Bible and other religious doctrine. It’s hard for some people to believe, especially if you’re struggling to make ends meet, that if you can attract what you want.

However, if you think about it, you see examples of this in life every day. You attract who you are. If you’re always attracting selfish people in relationships, ask yourself are you selfish? If it seems you have a lot of drama in your life, are you dramatic? If you receive gifts, compliments, money, do you give lots of gifts, compliments and money? You are what you attract. Success breeds success. You are the company you keep.

Let’s explore why this is. There is a science behind this. Quantum physics has an explanation for this phenomenon. First, you must understand or realize one fact. After this fact the rest will fall into place for you. Humans are a part of nature. We are from nature. We are made up of nature. We have the same components as all other life on this planet. Second thing to know is that all things are energy. Do you remember from school learning about molecules, electrons, etc. They vibrate. Everything vibrates. And that vibration creates energy. Your feelings create a vibration in your body which creates energy. That energy attracts other energy.

Got those two points? Great. Here’s the explanation of how law of attraction works – simplified. Objects that vibrate at the same frequency seek each other out. They are drawn to each other. There are some equations that prove this, but this is the base of the law of attraction. Negative energy seeks out negative energy and multiples; same with positive energy. You must vibrate at the same frequency as those things you want to draw. If you want to be wealthy think, act and feel wealthy. Your body will turn your feelings into vibrations. Your vibrations will go out in the Universe and attract wealth.

Please don’t try to get into what frequency is wealth at. Look at wealthy people and mimic them. If you want to be happy look at happy people and mimic them. If you want to be happy and wealthy look at that and mimic that. If you want love in your life, vibrate love. Now it’s not an instant change but you will find things you want are more drawn to you.

When I was youngER, I could manifest just about anything. I had no idea how I was doing this. When I became an adult I realized I did because I expected to. I didn’t expect failure. I thought because I thought something it would just come to pass. And it usually did. I said I would work at the Chicago Board of Trade. Did it. I said I would earn two degrees in four years. Did it. Is there work involved. Absolutely. I had to be in college to earn the degrees. But the Universe works these things out for us. When we put our intentions out in the Universe and vibrate at that frequency the Universe immediately sets out on fulfilling that wish. However…do NOT get involved in the how. Leave the Universe to do its thing. It doesn’t need your help.

This belief system is a part of most religious doctrine. Prayer is the equivalent of putting your intentions out in the Universe, living as a Christian is equivalent to vibrating at the appropriate frequency. If you’re not religious, you don’t have to be. Or maybe you believe this all nonsense, that your hard work just pays off. I would challenge you to give this is a try.

How do you change your vibration? There are endless resources out there available to you. Most resources have similiar components:

  • Change your thoughts – you can pick your thoughts, avoid negativity
  • Ask the Universe or however you call your god – don’t include negatives say what you want, not what you don’t want
  • Write it down – this connects the thought, with the ask, with the action
  • Behave as if it were true – the Bible says speak those things as if they are already in existence
  • Gratitude – show the Universe you grateful for what you have and what you receive, even the hard times
  • Trust and let go – again, the Universe has been doing this since the first tick of the clock, you just keep vibrating